I woke up at 5:45 am with a sudden urge to call him. To hear
his voice… to calm the screaming voices on my mind. I’ve turned into a ghost,
present yet invisible. It’s for the best, it’s for the best. Sleepless nights…
it’s for the best. Sobbing until I fall asleep… it’s for the best. “Save
yourself…” he said, “it’s for the best”.
That phrase is a dim that won’t fade away. It has become my
unconditional company, an unwanted friend. Among my constant pain and noise, I
wonder if he also wakes up at 5:45 am with a sudden urge to call me. My heart
would like to believe he wakes up too. That he thinks of me… constantly. That I
am an endless song in his head. NO! To him I am not a song, and never was, and
maybe I will never be.
It’s “maybe” that keeps me awake, just to remind me that
there is no hope. He killed all hope. Yet, hope grows amidst the stormy night
where the wind roars and shakes the car where we last talked.
I’ll try to fall asleep at 6:20 am. “It’s for the best… it’s
for the best”.
Don’t call! …It’s for the best.
Don’t cry! …It’s for the best!
It’s his loss! …It’s for the best!
BUT I LOVE HIM!
Sometimes “it’s for the best” it’s not a good reason.
7:00 am
Listen to : "I went too far" - Aurora
